Sunday, September 25, 2011

Creeped Out

I've been trying all year, and this week was the final straw.  Win or lose tonight, Carl Crawford has earned his own post for his role in the failure of the Best Team Ever.  This guy is a complete joke.

We should have known early that this guy wasn't fit for the job.  He's a guy who depends on speed, which is not exactly aligned with the Red Sox' overall offensive philosophy.  In fact, he has barely stolen all season (largely a product of the fact that you can't steal first base).  He didn't have a spot in the lineup.  Some of his friends from home insinuated that he would have some time adjusting to the spotlight in Boston.  And then there came the stories about how Theo Epstein had people tail him like private investigators, something Crawford was "creeped out" by.  We should have known.

Everyone gave him the benefit of the doubt in April, with Joe Sheehan (I think) of Sports Illustrated saying that the team should not worry about his slow start.  He didn't do anything overly stupid in the first few months except for a long series of bad swings.  Then the focus started to wane, something that has spread throughout the Red Sox' roster. 

There were the poor caroms off of the wall and many misplayed fly balls.  There were the missed cutoff men.  There were some missed signs.  There was poor baserunning.  There was straight-up poor concentration.  And it's one thing if you just flat-out suck at playing baseball (example: Coco Crisp), but it's another thing when you suck at thinking, lack focus, or let your physical tools go to waste.  Carl Crawford is not Coco Crisp.  But he lacked the concentration to play any better than Coco Crisp did this year.  And as much as it seemed like he cared about winning, cared about doing well, and all that, his actions since being benched against David Price are the ultimate in inexcusable.

Being a complete baby about things if you're a well-paid professional athlete is inexcusable in my book when you're hitting .330 with 120 RBIs, which is why after Adrian Gonzalez pulled his Ken Rosenthal crap last week, he entered my doghouse as well.  But Crawford is combining this deplorable behavior with downright stupid decisions on field.  The constant misplaying of fly balls and being, despite your speed and health, Mike Cameron out there because you suck at focusing is unconscionable.  Seriously, hit a cutoff man.

And here's a news flash.  I do appreciate the accountability, because your ability to say that you suck when you suck is something that your entire roster is unable to do for some reason, but you wrote your blog post about "Sorry for the bad season" on August 26th.  Coincidentally, this is the eve of the last time the Best Team Ever strung together two consecutive wins.  Since then, there have been 27 games, and the Best Team Ever has won seven of them (pending tonight).  Wow, this is exactly 1/6 of the season!  Good thing you were already apologizing for 2010 when there was more than a sixth of the season left to go.  Nice focus, Carl.

Here's another news flash:  When you suck (and your name is not John Lackey, Jason Varitek or Mike Timlin), you're going to get benched on a non-Devil Rays team.  Sorry.  That's life.  You want to hit against David Price?  Try hitting against the dregs of the American League first.  When some of the real players on the team are actually hurt (or are JD Drew), don't fake a neck injury.  That's disgusting.  Let's tell the truth here: You "hurt your neck" pouting.  Grow up, you punk.

And while you were taking your two-day pout break, I heard Gordon Edes approached you, as reporters are paid to do.  Wait, wow, a guy actually doing what he's paid to do!  That's like you hitting .300, not misplaying fly balls, and hitting cutoff men!  So when this guy does what he's paid to do, you flip out on him and tell him to "ask the captain."  Well, everything I said about your accountability in your poorly-timed apology blog post, I take that back.  You suck as much as the rest of these country club whiners.  Go away.  I don't want to see you again until April either, so please continue to gag away the wild card lead to your old team that you were too good for with your pathetic .255 average.  Hopefully in the meantime, instead of inviting those very same reporters into your gym Rocky III style, you should extract your head out of your rear end.

I'm creeped out by your play.  You should be too, because it's embarrassing.


Anonymous said...


First, I want to address your last post--I've said more than my share about Epstein's futility with free agents, but his entire track record is so bizarre. Look at the players he's drafted: Papelbon, Bard, Ellsbury, Pedroia, Lester, Buchholz. All those guys play a significant role for this team and are amongst the best at their position in all of baseball. Then look at the guys he's traded for: Gonzalez, Saltalamacchia, Beckett. Those two areas he's been successful with, in a lot of cases very successful (going back, you also have to count the Jason Bay trade, the Victor Martinez trade, the Curt Schilling trade as good/great moves). I just don't understand how he can be so good in those areas and so bad at free agency (the ONLY time he hit it big with a big name free agent was Keith Foulke. Ortiz was not a big name at the time).

As for Carl Crawford if I were making as much money as he is I'd sit in front of my locker and talk about how much I sucked for six straight months every year. I'd be candid, contrite, and even affable.

Also, I'm sure you've heard about John Lackey's latest blow up and saw how he reacted when Francona yanked him last night (it was absolutely the right move to get him out of the game). I know we don't swear on this page but it needs to be said: John Lackey needs to shut the fuck up.

--the Gunn

Anonymous said...

My guess is sox need to sweep in baltimore to get in outright, 2 out of 3 to have a playoff. This is obviously nothing more than a guess based on gut, but I don't see the yanks winning any of these games in tampa. Not the way they played/managed the last half of last night's game.