Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Selig Personally F's with DV, Rant Ensues

Note:  I have Red Sox tickets to Wednesday's (tonight's by the time you read it) game.  Upon being asked "what are you doing Wednesday night?" by the Franchise this morning, I started typing the following email (edited for content) to Pat:

Bud Selig is a [expletive] disaster. You think I'm going to rip him for the expanded playoffs that pretty much nullifies the importance of, well, six months of the baseball season. Well, wrong.

I have tickets to Wednesday night's Red Sox/Tigers game. Not sure if you've seen the regional weather forecast, but it goes along the lines of rain today, rain tomorrow, rain Wednesday, rain Thursday, showers Friday. The Red Sox and Tigers are playing six times all season, only two of these games being at Fenway Park. Those two games, of course, would be Wednesday and Thursday. Don't you think there would be some kind of [expletive] contingency plan just in case there's, you know, a two-day rainstorm in May? This [rain for two days straight in May] is not unfathomable; it happens all the time. But no. Only two games, so if my game's rained out on Wednesday, I'm going to have to take a JD [DV for "unnecessary day off] on Thursday to sit out on a roofbox in the [expletive] rain all day, sit through about nine rain delays, and have John Henry, Tom Werner, and Lebron James (up 20% this year; you neanderthals wouldn't understand) bilk me on parking, hot dogs, trash bags disguised as ponchos, and all that.

["Bilk" is a Felger word.  And while I'm at it, I'm going to mention that after I find a place to park and already pay my T fare, Linda Pizzuti will probably Twitter the rainout.  The Red Sox will keep the stadium open for another fifteen minutes, just enough time for another round purchased by Sully from Medford who won't make rent this month because he's buying $8 Narragansetts for himself, his buddy Murph, his buddy Danny, and his brother, also named Sully, then rain it out.  These guys suck just as much as Selig does.  They love Lebron.]

The Tigers are in Boston for a grand total of 40 hours all year because Bud Selig wants to have the Red Sox and Yankees play each other nineteen times and increase margins due to fewer travel costs. Also so that the Chicago Cubs can come to town instead in their interleague sideshow and lessen the importance of the World Series, All-Star Game, and distinction between leagues. That's awesome; why don't you dilute the rivalry the same way you're diluting the playoffs? Well, that's already been done, you [expletive] clown. So you're going to have your fans sit through a monsoon and subject your players to injury because there's no other time to make up these May games. Oh, wait, you did the same thing during the 2009 World Series because you didn't want to mess up FOX's "So You Think You Can Dance" schedule.  Because you're doing that, I'm going to probably either stay home and eat the tickets or I'm going to get sick before my race.

Thanks, Bud. Golden [expletive] age.

Enjoy yo day.



Anonymous said...


This is a good rant. It's important that you vent DV instead of bottling it inside. It's obviously frustrating when decisions are made that make sense on the balance sheet but not for the fans.

In other news, just a preposterous game for Dirk Nowitzki last night. I have never seen anything like it.


Ross Kaplan said...

Jon and I were stuck in a similar situation the 2nd to last game of the 2007 season as we spent a lovely afternoon in Fenway waiting out a rain delay only to have it turn in to a postponement to the following evening rather than the afternoon game I would have been able to go to without missing a day of law school.

Also DV, you make $8 Nargaansett's sound like a bad thing, try $11 Miller Lites at the House that Herr Steinbrenner Built.

TimC said...


Neither do your readers, since last night was probably the first time all year they bothered to watch Dirk. My rant would be the same as DV's, with hip-hop music during the game replacing weather complaints and the comments about diluting rivalries being more towards the line of eliminating them. The common denominator that is killing interest in regular season sports in this country is that decisions are being made with only owners and players in mind, ignoring that third vital component of the sports league, the true fans. To survive this, the league now caters to the 'replacement fan'- the same we alienate in sports bars and comments sections, I guess, as striking players do to the Daubachs.

And as the league waters down (or the weather, I guess) the regular season with additional games, playoff rounds, and expansion teams, the need to cater to the 'replacement fan' increases because real fans will be turned off (leading to turning on TV's) on the idea of spending money to go to games. Replacement fans fill luxury seats, buy Sam Adam's Pineapple Brew or whatever, and pay $40 to park the cars they need to carry the stuff they buy at the mall- eh hem, stadium- back home to Concord.

Casual fans do not notice watered down products much like 18-year olds do not notice the crap that is a Natty Light. Leagues will continue to cater to these replacement fans that care little about the entertainment value of the game and value more the social game that is finding entertainment because the bottom line is the bottom line, regardless of the source of the $$$. Unfortunately, as long as we all buy TV's and drive up the TV revenues our non-attendance at these meaningless regular season games will not be missed. The English Premier League starts in August, but even they are succumbing...

Last of many side-notes: I only went to one Celtics game all year in person and it was v. the Mavs, in February. The Celts lost and I felt it was due to the lumbering presence of Perkins. Simply, he had nothing to add to the effort. Now, I know he was just coming back, but I still think the Thunder will ultimately wish they had Green for this series. When that trade was made, I think it was with the Spurs and Lakers, not Dallas, in mind.


TimC said...

And by nothing, I mean- he cannot score on his own consistently, he cannot defend the screen and roll, he cannot run back on D at the rate needed with Kidd, he cannot offensive rebound those long shots the Mavs invite with their occasional zone and more often general disinterest in real perimeter defense. Gonna be a tough one for OKC.

the gm at work said...


That was the most existential thing I have ever read.

jason said...

ill just point out that you who has always mentioned the rain this time of year could have always purchased tickets to another game later in the season? i am pretty sure you have these complaints every year, yet you support the play in april buy scooping up those tickets...

Ross Kaplan said...

And the Yankees finally break through in the 15th against the best pitching staff between DC and Philly.