Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Best Team Ever

Let's take a look at the rule book, specifically rule 2.0, definitions of baseball terms to be used throughout the rest of the rule book:

The STRIKE ZONE is that area over home plate the upper limit of which is a horizontal line at the midpoint between the top of the shoulders and the top of the uniform pants, and the lower level is a line at the hollow beneath the knee cap. The Strike Zone shall be determined from the batter's stance as the batter is prepared to swing at a pitched ball.

Rule 2.00 (Force Play) Comment: Confusion regarding this play is removed by remembering that frequently the “force” situation is removed during the play. Example: Man on first, one out, ball hit sharply to first baseman who touches the bag and batter-runner is out. The force is removed at that moment and runner advancing to second must be tagged.
Both of these refreshers on the Major League Baseball rule book would have been helpful to the future 117-win Boston Red Sox during the pivotal sixth inning of tonight's game.  See, in order to not load the bases, you have to throw the ball in the strike zone.  Dennys Reyes should not be on the major league roster on April seventh, period.  When you're the last guy in the bullpen and you embarrass yourself like that, you lose your job.  Seriously, Reyes could have been taken 450 (like Dan Wheeler did) and he would have been relatively off the hook.  But it is completely unacceptable to hit two guys and walk a guy trying to bunt on four pitches.  That's absolutely embarrassing by one of the vital cogs of the MUCH IMPROVED BULLPEN.

Jason Varitek sure knows about "fore play" with the sideline reporters, but apparently "force play" escaped his mind.  Maybe he was pouting about playing time or his pay cut and didn't pay attention to the fact that Youkilis tagged third base and therefore he had to tag a runner between third and home.  This is a team with such a hideous lack of focus that the 0-5 start causes less frustration and more of a feeling of "these freaking jerks deserve it." 

Matsuzaka is off the hook.  So is Adrian Gonzalez, whose homer makes it necessary for me to point out that he's only a member of the Red Sox for the next 157 games.

The fact that I'm the only person who's hammering Francona for being exactly what Claude Julien is - a complacent leader who is not getting his players to focus - is surprising.  I thought that the regional purveyors of truth, Felger and Massarotti, would have been on the Baseball Claude's case today.  Nope.  Their callers were blaming the veterans for not inspiring the new players.  Okay.  I'm all for hammering JD Drew for his half-hearted slide into home plate yesterday or for his effort going after a fly ball in right field (not every night is a Saturday night in Tampa, and not every fly ball is a foul pop-up by Matt Joyce with a runner on third with in a one-run game).  But there's someone else who has to be at blame.  Have another Bigelow Green Tea, you zombie.

This team is 0-5.  They deserve it.  The best they can be when they face the Yankees is 1-5.  They deserve it.  Their center fielder 46, with another called strike three in the late innings tonight, should be in Pawtucket.  News flash:  When you're a mediocre hitter who played eighteen games last year due to a phantom injury, you do not get the corners.

So it's up to April Lester to prevent a sweep at the hands of one of the two worst teams in the American League tomorrow afternoon.  The sycophants in the local media can talk about how they're the Best Team Ever, but this team could start 0-9.

Of course, they would deserve it.


Anonymous said...

Stat of the day: no team that sucked has ever made the MLB playoffs.


the gm said...

Why, you must have read my "27%" post last week!

Anonymous said...


This team looks gross. It's a good thing they don't get my full attention until the Celtics are done. Here's hoping I don't have to pay attention to the Red Sox on a full-time basis until about June 20th.

--the Gunn

Rocci said...

Is it karma for making a deal with LeBron?

Anonymous said...

How inappropriate that 'Jason Varitek' is among the tags, so to speak, for this post.

Also, big ups to google for making the sign-in process so time-consuming that it is far easier to post sarcastic comments via the anonymous sign-in.

Anonymous said...

Oh and Rocci, karma involving LeBron would manifest itself in the form of a 162-0 season followed by a 3-0 sweep in the ALDS.

Anonymous said...


Lebron partnering up with the Red Sox is typical of both sides. For the Red Sox, it will make them money. And that's what they care about. Frankly, that's ALL that they care about. Fortunately, when (if?) the Red Sox win, it makes the owners more money. So this is a generally a good thing for Sox fans.

On the Lebron front, Sox ownership is a financially sound group. They have their hands on a baseball team, a racing team, a soccer team, and a television network. But what really fits with Lebron is that he's a Yankees fan (especially interesting considering he grew up in Ohio where there are only two major league baseball teams to root for). Only a guy with a complete lack of loyalty like Lebron would team up with the ownership of the chief rival of his favorite baseball team.

Also, the Heat are going to win about five fewer games than the 2010 Cavs and about 10 fewer than the 2009 Cavs. Well done, Lebron.

--the Gunn

the gm at work said...

Rocci, I am going full-on Lebron tonight. Get your popcorn ready.

Best Team Ever.

the gm at work said...

Best team ever. They'll need to win three out of every four games (117-39) to reach that point on Immortality Peak that Eric Ortiz spoke of on January 1st.

"Speed, power, plate discipline. This lineup has it all."

156 games left on Adrian Gonzalez's contract.