Monday, August 23, 2010


So Ace Ticket, trying to liquidate otherwise-worthless inventory and not turn the Red Sox' "sellout streak" into even more of a farce than it really is, claimed Johnny F. Patrick Damon off of waivers today. Strictly as a baseball move, it's not a bad idea, especially as 46 is going to PF, I mean, JD out for the rest of the year, and as good as Ryan Kalish might be as a baseball player, Johnny F. Patrick Damon would probably be better.

But there are some lines you cannot cross. And picking this guy up is on the wrong side of the line. Look, I've said it a million times. All he's done since the last out was recorded in 2005 was talk trash. Disrespected. I'm Johnny F***ing Damon.

Once again, and what people even like my boy Felger don't understand, is not the fact that he took the extra $12 million. It's the following:
-The fact that he had more sense than that (Rick James reference) on going to New York.
-The fact that he was talking about contract 15 minutes after the season ended.
-The fact that he has done nothing but talk trash since the day he left.

Do fans and media personnel REALLY want someone who so spectacularly ran himself out of town to come back, just to get mired into another long, drawn-out contract dispute starting in November? F that. He will not be the difference between the playoffs and not the playoffs. Look, the bottom line is that the organization decided on Friday afternoon not to foul anymore once they put Dustin Pedroia on the DL (something I'll address more tomorrow). The only reason they'd bring this guy back is so Ace Ticket can stay in business. He's taken direct shots at the organization - the very same people who are trying to bring him back. I think this is actually the first time he's blasted Boston to this extent since he effectively ran Coco Crisp out of town just for being the guy after him.

"I'm not sure if I want to leave Detroit for that."
"It got ugly when it became apparent that re-signing me wasn't a priority."

He's still talking about it. That's why I'm still talking about him. I can't believe I'm saying it, but I might actually rather see 46 play another game in a Red Sox uniform or have the Red Sox sign JD to an extension past 10-2-11 than see Damon back in that outfield.

Felger brought up today that Damon exercising his no-trade would be the ultimate F-you to the Ace Ticket, I mean, Boston organization who came crawling back to him. If he actually had the balls to do that, good for him. He'd say all he would ever have to say about the decision made in 2005.

Without saying one word. Which is probably what he should have done all along.

But if he comes back in the next forty-eight hours, he's just as bad as Ace Ticket, I mean, the team is. Crawling back. And you know he's going to probably run himself out of town again in another two and a half months anyway. So here we go Damon. Show some balls. Don't come back. And shut up.


TimC said...
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TimC said...

Good post about this train wreck of a situation. Some fans are more likely to forgive than others and there will be "debate" about this move on talk radio and the like, but when it comes down to it if you talk shit you really should not be welcomed back with open arms. Hate to say it, but Snooki has a better grasp of this concept than Theo and the Brain Trust- this fact makes me all the less excited for the off-season and 2011.

The GM said...

Exactly. Damon should be welcomed back the same way Angelina was welcomed back: J-Woww should threaten to kill him in his sleep for talking s***.

You know this already, and if Felger and people were to read How Youz Doin baseball every day like they should, they would know that Damon should be austracized. Not for the reason that many fans austracize him right now - for going to the Yankees in the first place. But for the way he handled it.

Look, the guy was great when he was here. Nobody did it better. And nobody's denying that. And yes, it would be very interesting to see what happens if he comes back.

But this is like if a girl had a great boyfriend who accomplished virtually-insurmountable things. Then she breaks up with him. But instead of moving on with his life, he decides to [date] the one girl he said he wouldn't: her best friend. And all the while, talking trash, calling her (the ex-girlfriend/protagonist of this story) a slut or a B or something, leaving constant messages on or Instant Messenger about how she disrespected him, and really remaining on the forefront of the female protagonist's consciousness so that she cannot effectively continue dating others (oh, you know, like Coco Crisp or even 46?).

Is the female protagonist - or her friends (except for one) supposed to be okay with this? Pro-Damon Red Sox fans? Craig? Felger? John? Jason? Boston Dirt Dog? Seriously, am I wrong about this at all?

Plus, in this parallel situation, if five years later the girl decides to come crawling back to this guy, she's a freaking idiot.

The GM said...

Seriously, if this happens tonight, I'm wearing the #10 t-shirt to work tomorrow. I don't care.

Anonymous said...


This is exactly what this blog needed. Johnny Damon back in thick of things.

Look, I understand your position. Johnny Damon is insincere and not particularly intelligent. He alienated Red Sox fans unlike anyone since Roger Clemens.

But is he better for the Red Sox than Darnell MacDonald and Daniel Nava in left field? Yes, he is. And to me, that's all that I care about. Hell, if you told me that Manny Ramirez could come back to town and slap up a .950 OPS over the next six weeks with 12 homers I'd take him back with open arms, too.

Now before PF jumps in here and says "what about all those awful things you said about Lebron James? Insincere! Disingenuous! Gutless!"

All of that is still true. But it's important for everyone to know this much--just because you don't like someone doesn't mean you don't do business with them. That's for hippies and communists. If you want to make money or win there are a lot of times where you need to tuck those feelings in your back pocket and go to work.

--the Gunn

the gm at work said...


You forgot the most important category, more important than the hippies and communists: The stubborn and vindictive. Pretty safe to say that I meet both of those categories.

Therefore, no Manny Ramirez and no Johnny Damon. I'm very serious when I say that I don't even want to see 46 in a Red Sox uniform again, and that is mostly independent of the fact that I think he's just a mediocre baseball player. No. You act like a dick, you go on the offensive first, that's when you're dead to me. All those guys did that.

PF said...

I would not hold you to that standard gunn. And the reason I wouldn't is for the exact proposition you laid out at the end of your comment. You can sing til you can't sing no more about lebron james, but if the celtics had an opportunity to get him you wouldn't blink. And I understood that at the time you were jumping all over him. You're a sports fan, you get emotionally charged about things, but like most sports fans have two standards that apply: one to your team and one to everybody else. I'm the same way.

And that is where dv and timc are missing the point on this one in my opinion. They are overwhelming us with sports guy-esque pop culture references and hypotheticals that are really cute for this situation, without paying due attention to the possible benefit in the most significant way: to the team on the field. And no, dv unscientifically declaring that damon will not make a difference in the playoff race for the red sox does not qualify. How does he know that's the case. Would damon definitely be the difference? Of course not. Would he possibly be? Absolutely. The red sox have so many head to heads left with the yankees and rays they are right in this thing. You can't just point to something arbitrary and say THAT is why the season is over. Because it isn't. The yankees or tampa could lose 5 in a row. The red sox pitching could get red hot. Having an extra bat like damon sparking the top of the order could help them not lose games 3-2. And that is why you take the chance on damon despite all this other nonsense. If the red sox were 20 out, dv and timc's logic would be right point. But since they are within range, you have to put emotion aside and take the chace to win, because nothing is guaranteed.

Of course I hope this doesn't happen. I have no interest in the red sox getting help, especially in head to head scenarios with the yankees. Which is just what damon would be. He's not just a good player but a pesky player. Why I don't want him, however, is exactly why every red sox fan should.

PF said...

And I wasn't even applying that sports fan double standard to lebron james (in hopes that hed come to the knicks). I'm just not going to be a principled sports fan in an unprincipled world. This isn't the 1980s anymore. That is why I didn't get the big deal about lebron. And that is why I don't get the big deal about damon. So on and so forth.

PF said...

*principled sports fan in an unprincipled sporting world.

Anonymous said...


I knew you wouldn't. I just didn't want anyone else out there thinking I was a complete hypocrite.


Even if all I knew about you were the things you wrote, I'd know you aren't a communist or a hippie. I threw those terms in there because I knew you'd appreciate it.
Nothing wrong with being vindictive, either. It's one of the main reasons Michael Jordan was Michael Jordan.

But the beauty of the Johnny Damon situation is this: if he rejects the claim nobody, and I mean nobody is going to defend that guy anymore.

--the Gunn

TimC said...

I don't think I missed the point on anything, PF. Damon is a guy who was all guts and hustle during his time in Boston. His comments as he was heading out the door indicated that he no longer has that same passion to commit himself to Red Sox at a time where they would really need it. It is really that simple. Why would the front office bother throwing themselves at a guy who might as well just pull the old JD46 trick the second he lands in Logan? That's the point your missing, PF, and its the same point Snooki would probably would make if she had an IQ above 13, could type, and knew what a double play was; once someone says those kinds of things, how can you trust him or her? And I guess I don't trust Damon, the only reason being that everything he did after the end of his contract with Boston makes me think of him as an asshole.

Also, don't bother comparing me to the Sports Guy. That guy has become just another media hack; seriously, did you read his fantasy football column two weeks ago??!?? What a joke.

the gm at work said...
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the gm at work said...
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the gm at work said...


It's all making sense now. I actually looked back at Pat's Arod argument back from when he was a regular contributor to this blog, looking for an inconsistency. And I couldn't find one.

The common thread is this: As long as it's helping the team, he doesn't care whether a player puts a GPS under his Jeep, runs over his dog, sets his house on fire, or happens to be an axe murderer. I think this might be the difference between him and me, well, that and the frequency of posts and vacations.

I care if a guy is a douchebag. That's why I don't like Damon. And Drew. And 46. And Jason Bartlett. And Lebron. And Arod and Teixeira. Obviously, Pat doesn't.

Was he pissed off about Arod opting out because Arod was a douchebag? No. He was pissed off that Arod was a douchebag and accomplished nothing in a Yankees uniform to date. Once he helped the team win the 2009 World Series, however, Pat sent text messages praising him, wrote poems, and practically disappeared from How Youz Doin Baseball altogether.

Clearly Pat cares about the bottom line and nothing else. He is probably fine with the Red Sox partnering with a firm that helps scalp its own tickets. He's fine with "The Decision," I guess, too.

Perhaps he's in the legion of those douchebags that are undoubtedly among us, admitting that they would "definitely" hire Scott Boras as an agent and scoff at/allege insincerity at anyone who feels otherwise. Maybe he's one of those guys who absolutely rapes their expense reports so they could have another martini on the company's bill and literally profit from driving to the coffee shot down the road. "Does it help me? Yes. F everything else. I'm doing it." Good. You might just be a typical NESCAC future-douchebag-of-America.

Whatever. I Belichick snort when I'm asked to submit an expense report, and I once Child-Pleased sales commission. I'm also going to make up for the 25 minutes the company lost when I wrote this. I also feel like there is something philosophically wrong with bringing back someone who has acted like such a piece of garbage since the day he left. Again, it wasn't that he left. It's the way he conducted himself afterwards. Forget leaving harassing messages on - Johnny Damon did it in USA Today, the Boston Globe, and

Pat - you're okay with that, and that's fine. That's your opinion, and if you read closely, I said explicitly in the first paragraph that it would be good in terms of wins and losses and for the Ace Ticket Bailout. But I guess, unlike you, I'd rather lose with Daniel Nava and Ryan Kalish (not Darnell McDonald because he's a steroid guy) than win with Johnny F. Patrick Damon.

Enjoy yo day.

PF said...

Timc and dv -

That is the difference between us. I don't care about what happened in the past or trust or disrespect, as long as the person isn't a criminal. And none of the people we are talking about are criminals. They are athletes. Ideal? No. But it is what it is. Sports is about winning for me. Not the soap opera that happens off the field. That may sound new school because I don't demand old school loyalty, but really its old old school, back to when athletes were really out of control off the field and all that mattered was winning. I understand where you guys are coming from. I really do. In an idealistic sports world, I'd be right there with you. But this is not an idealistic sports world where we can get amped up about loyalty and trust, because the athletes in that category are likely the minority, not the majority. That's why I make two distinctions: those that can help a team win and those that can't. Contained in there is playing hard, playing hurt, all that stuff I actually care about. That's why I have room for arod and damon on my team any day, but not drew. No matter what they do off the field.

Try this on for size. If derek jeter left after this season for the boston red sox because he got more money, talked stuff about the yankees organization everyday saying it was the worst in sports, then came back to the yankees the following year and helped them win another title, I'd welcome him with open arms and give him a fist pound like nothing ever happened. It's about winning, not emotion and feelings and trust. Enjoy your day.

Anonymous said...

I'll bet Pat would bring Donte Stallworth on the Yankees if he thought he could help them as an extra outfielder.

"You act like a dick, you go on the offensive first, that's when you're dead to me."

Dv- does this mean I'm dead to you?


TimC said...

PF- Tried Jeter on, didn't fit. Jeter is just not a good example because I would struggle to find anyone who would think that Jeter would leave NYC in a flurry of negative comments like Damon. Yeah, if he did, sure, but it is just very unrealistic.

PF and DV, it looks like I might be falling between you guys with these situations. I will defend Manny all the way to Cooperstown but would not take back Damon. I guess I could try to sort out the why's and the what's at some point.

the gm said...


I feel like the company that makes Swiffers would be alarmed about their long-term sustainability if they heard you are not about emotion.