Thursday, August 19, 2010

A Madman, Your Honor!

Take a close look at this video clip. Does that baserunner look like someone who is NOT trying to get hurt? Could that collision have been avoided or at least partially mitigated by straight up pushing the pitcher instead of twirling around and bodyslamming the ground with the area of your body that just happens to be the one that you've had trouble getting better?

Or does that baserunner look like a player trying to re-aggravate an injury so he could prove his point of "hey, I really WAS injured! You'll see how soft I am!"

Look, I've seen Fletcher Reede kick his own ass (see image above) more times than most people have seen Brett Favre throw an interception. Fletcher, of course, harmed himself intentionally by punching himself, rubbing hand soap in his eyes, dumping trash on himself, ripping his suit, smashing his head with a toilet seat, and running into a wall repeatedly so that he didn't have to return to the courtroom. He had a reason to harm himself intentionally.

Just as a stubborn 5-year-old will go hungry instead of eating vegetables to protest and to prove a point, people like the fictional Fletcher Reede are willing to harm themselves to prove a point. I don't want to add a new indictment explicity, but...

...look at the video.

Josh Beckett is an ace, and Manny Delcarmen has a lot of upside.

FINALLY, to round out the week, it's time to speculate where PF has been. He has not told me, or presumably anyone, where he's been. He's made a couple of cameos, and I believe as I write this he is penning a post to put up next week, when he will again have little to no computer access. I hope he doesn't tell us what he's actually doing until September comes and we again hear how demanding, tiring, and busy law school is.

Because it's more fun to speculate than to actually know the real answer. Here are some possibilities:

1. Ireland. It's been nearly fourteen months since Pat took his most recent JDcation to the Emerald Isle, and I am currently staring at an inviting, poignant (not sarcastic) flyer from the country's tourism bureau. It invites you to come back home. And I feel like after 14 months, Pat is homesick.
2. San Jose, Costa Rica. Costa Rica is an increasingly-popular destination of NESCAC students/graduates who want to JD out and/or say they're making a social difference. As Pat is a staunch conservative, I'd say it would just be JDing out. In the past week, HYD Baseball has received an extended-duration hit from San Jose, which is not normal.
3. Dusseldorf, Germany. Don't know much about this place, except that it's a place where you can drive fast and that someone from Dusseldorf has also recently visited HYD Baseball for an extended period of time.
4. Arizona. Made popular by 46, Arizona is apparently now the place to go if you want to take an extended hiatus from any responsibilities. I heard Pat also paid a visit to Dr. Lewis Yocum recently after feeling dull soreness in his ribs.
5. The Jersey Shore. Back when Pat had a user profile (this was pre-image cleansing), he listed one of his interests as the Jersey Shore. This was well before the dawn of the best show in television history. But given his affinity for the area, his tendency to JD out on the beach all summer, and his tendency to rag on people with Italian-American heritages, this is a good choice.
6. Florida. It's been a whole five months since Pat has taken any kind of extended JDcation, and Florida was his most recent destination.
7. Aruba. It's a long shot, as Pat has hung out in Yankee favorite Sidney Ponson's homeland as recently as January. I don't see much reason to go to Aruba in the middle of the summer, and the same goes for Florida. But anywhere in the world could be a possibility.

Y'all have a good weekend.


Anonymous said...


I don't blame Featherston for taking as many vacations as he has since he graduated from college--once he gets working that's going to change.

As for Ellsbury, I think that mentally he's much weaker than he is physically. He's let this whole situation blow way out of proportion and got entirely too defensive about it. Athletes get hurt. It happens. But how you handle those injuries is much more important than the injury itself. And while I'm not in that clubhouse, it's clear that he hasn't handled it well--not because he's missed so much time, but because of the reaction his teammates have had--clearly gamers like Youkilis are none too happy. And I don't blame them for that.

With all that in mind, I don't think Ellsbury ran into Tommy Hunter in an effort to intentionally hurt himself and prove a point. I know you're not entirely serious, but that type of thought and conjecture is usually reserved for the Oliver Stone's and Gore Vidal's of the world. And I know you don't have anything in common with them.

In short, we can definitely agree on this much--Jacoby Ellsbury is soft and likely a prima donna. What's more, is that I was wrong about him. And that's really unfortunate. Not because I can't handle being wrong, but because I really thought he could be a real impact player for the Red Sox. Now it looks like he'll end up stealing bases in San Diego before going to the Yankees, Cubs, or Angels.

--the Gunn

Ross Kaplan said...

I'm guessing that Featherstain is in Cork, which as we all know is on the Jersey Shore of Ireland just fistpumping his days away on the Irish coast.

Of course you all could accuse me of having disappeared from this blog and baseball for that matter during this summer, but between my bar preparation followed by a trip to the Grand Canyon, I have been indisposed for most of the summer. Then there is also the fact that Pat writes on the blog about as often as Jacoby has played this season there is just nothing for me to comment on.

jason said...

may have spotted him in hawaii while i was there