Thursday, April 22, 2010

Tale of the Tape

Athlete Mike Cameron DV
Position Red Sox CF adidas New England RC 4th runner
Sports Hernia Diagnosis April 20, 2010 April 20, 2010
Beginning of Symptoms March 2010 November 2009, possibly 2007
Misdiagnoses 2 2
Notable Previous Success That Will Likely End Up On Their Gravestone 4 HRs in one game, May 2, 2002 24th in Boston Marathon, 2008
Documented Source of Success “self-confidence, open-mindedness, and teamwork” balls, hard work, willpower, disdain for competitors
Notable Failure w/ Injury Center Field, 1st Inning, April 16 Chevron Houston Marathon, January 17
Pain Comparison Getting shot Having your leg fall off
Recovery Impediment(s) Age, “stubbornness,” playing hurt for a month Reluctance to lose fitness or miss any time with injuries because that’s what JD Drew does
Temporary Factor to Delay Downtime Blaming pain on kidney stones Popping 8 ibuprofens a day for last 6 weeks
Recovery drink of choice Leaded” coffee Mountain Dew Livewire
Replacements Billy Hall, Darnell McDonald Mike Bunker, Jon Healey
Surgery? Trying to avoid…for now Trying to avoid…for now
DL Minimum 15 days 42 days

Obviously, if I’m actually talking about running twice in one week, it’s been a pretty rough week for me.  I am not a Mike Cameron fan due to his repeat offenses for drug violations, but it is nice to know that someone else is fighting the same fight at the very same time.  I am probably learning more about my injury now by reading Cameron articles than I did after two months of reading stuff on blogs and WebMD.  Then again, WebMD doesn’t have any credibility because it doesn’t have sore glove hand listed as a legitimate medical condition.

Tonight’s loss was not at all surprising.  Shut down by a former middle reliever and a very good performance by a starting pitcher.  VMart is a GIDP machine, Bigelow Green Tea was advertised on television, and the run prevention defense faltered again.  Conversely, last night was a good, well-fought game.  Last night, as Pat mentioned, indicated that this team very well might not suck this year.  However, then they mail it in during tonight’s game.

Wakefield out of the rotation is the best thing for the team.


from the bronx said...

gm, i don't think the sox are a good team this year, but i don't think you can expect beckett, lester and lackey to all pitch this badly for the whole season either. at some point, they will win some games. i agree, though, that the 2010 version of the red sox is a poorly conceived idea and should be out of the playoff race pretty early.

Jon said...

if I am going to be NERC version of Darnell McDonald, then I am going to have to get careless with some supplements back in 2005.

Maybe I can get some HGH, you know for *cough* recovery for you.

TimC said...

FTB, they are already out of the playoff race. Go Dice!

the gm at work said...

FTB, I don't expect them to be that bad. As you and everyone knows, I'm pretty traumatized by what I saw from Beckett in 2006, but I do agree that the starting pitching and the defense will not continue to be as bad as it has been.

That said, I don't think the offense will be as good as it has been. I am standing by my 37 blown saves prediction. As far as the team being a "poorly conceived idea," I said from the get-go that it looked like a $170 million punt, and now they're playing like it.


True story: I was at the gym last night trying to figure out which exercises I can do (bottom line is I can do arms and chest, but not much more. By the time of Franchise's graduation, I am going to look like Joe from Family Guy). One of the meatheads I see in the gym everyday suggested I "do a few cycles" once my six weeks are up. I figure doing that is a pretty bad business decision in many different ways, especially given the incessant condemnation I have given any and all users on this website for the last three years.

John said...


Who diagnosed your sports hernia? I went and saw the surgeon and he told me my doctor was wrong... so I'm back to square one hoping that I can play soccer pain free this summer.

Ross Kaplan said...

DV, I think I speak on behalf of everyone when I wish you a complete and speedy recovery. I'm no athlete, but I still recall the excruciating pain I suffered while pulling my hamstring while playing I-Play football in the fall of 2006. Let that be a lesson to all of you, always stretch.

Patrick said...

best wishes for a speedy recovery danno. dare i say, elliptical?

Anonymous said...


Two things that you always harp on--another blown save and another incredibly shaky ninth by Papelbon. Thank God for Julio Lugo. At least he's still just as terrible as he always was.

DV and Bandi

I'm looking for some thoughts on Arizona's new immigration law. I bet Colby is absolutely livid.

--the Gunn