Thursday, March 18, 2010

Believe Me, This Is Strictly A Hypothetical

Bear with me for a second here, despite the name you're about to read. What if JD Drew were President of the United States? Furthermore, what if JD's first love was watching sports (particularly college basketball) on television instead of bowhunting? Well, if you want to envision that hypothetical situation, it probably wouldn't be too much different from watching Barack Obama's presidency.

I used to call the president the 46 of the political world because he was very charismatic, kind of a scumbag, and was mediocre at his job. But now that 46 changed his number to Two and now that we're 14 months into the presidency, he's basically a really smug jerk who came in with a lot of hype, who thinks he's the best, a lot of his closest boys think he's the best, a lot of smug liberal arts college graduates think he's the best, the media thinks he's the best, but spends a lot of time taking vacations, spending time with his family, and celebrating his first love instead of doing his job. And, for one reason or another, he's falling way, way short of expectations. In other words, he's JD.

No matter what you think about healthcare (honestly, I don't care how you feel about it, and you shouldn't care how I feel about it), you have to think there's something a little suspicious about the fact that the President of the United States of America can spend almost five minutes (plus setup time) out of his job to outline his March Madness bracket on national television. You gotta think he should probably care a little bit more about his real job and not about his favorite hobby. Just as you think it's a little suspicious that JD, despite shoulder surgery, was out bowhunting three weeks later. Would he be playing baseball three weeks later? F no.

Seriously, I am not as busy as Barack Obama is. Yes, I have a full-time job, I have a blog that some weeks I have to write by myself because my co-author is JDing out (yo!), and I run 100+ miles a week. However, I am not running the free world, and therefore I am not the busiest person in the world.

With my schedule, I am not able to tell you who the guards are on the Villanova team. I've seen them play a lot while at the gym rehabbing my injury, but I don't know who their guards are. I don't know how tough the Kansas State team is, and I don't have any stories about how great of a coach Bill Self is. Most of all, I don't know about the balance and athleticism of the Murray State team. These are all things that Obama talked about during his Barack-etology special.

(As an aside, I DO know how to spell "Syracuse." SYCASUSE? Really?)

I picked Murray State to beat Vanderbilt today on my way to getting each of the first eight games correct. But I picked Murray State because I have picked them in the first round in every tournament since 1999. I was due to get it right once in a while. And it happened today. Obama actually had a real reason to pick Murray State: They are well-balanced and athletic. I almost choked on my McDonald's Shamrock Shake when I heard that. Because Murray State is not on ESPN very often. In order to follow this team or any team in the Ohio Valley Conference, you either have to be in Murray, KY, dicking around on the Internet A LOT, or subscribing to one of the ultra-DirecTV packages that gives you all the C-list basketball games like Murray State vs. Samford. If you have a full-time job, nevermind if you are the President of the United States, you probably shouldn't be spending this much time studying the OVC.

Obama also found some time to fill out the women's tournament bracket. This tournament is 100% irrelevant with the exception of UConn. And Obama took time out of his day--out of American taxpayers' day--to do this. Unbelievable. He's also commenting nonstop about the BCS or the Olympics and having beer with the Canadian president and a Cambridge cop who thought it was suspicious that a guy was trying to break into a house and was flipping out when accosted for what he was doing. Seriously dude, do your job.

As an American, I feel like a Red Sox fan. I feel like JD's doing a crummy job representing my city, my favorite team, because he cares more about bowhunting than he cares about doing what he's being paid for. Seriously, he was hunting three weeks after shoulder surgery. At the same time, Obama's being paid to lead the country, and he's just sipping beers and watching basketball. Do your job, President JD. Do your job.


The GM said...

This post may have been slightly out of scope. Oh well, this is my blog, and I know Pat agrees with me. For some reason, this one really got my blood boiling.

jason said...

i think doing this is part of his job, by being hip and cool he is doing a great job of winning his reelection

the gm said...


You're making my point. If Obama's only boss was himself, you'd be right. Just like if you're walking with two outs and Varitek on deck. It's enhancing your OPS. But it does nothing useful for your team.

the gm said...

The women's tournament took up 3:08 of his (and taxpayers') time. Plus, the field of 64 and each winner was in the president's handwriting, which means he filled out the names of 127 teams. Good.

TimC said...


I don't think Jason is really making your point here (unless I missed it). The equivalent to what Obama is doing would be for JD to repeat his ATL season, where he finished 6 in the MVP vote and earned "re-election" by signing a mega-deal with the Dodgers.

Oh, and my bracket is up in flames. Still time to fill out a women's one though!

John said...

Not that I have any good reason to add to the fire here, but I read somewhere that he had done, on average, more than 1 speech per day last year since being elected. Running for election seems to be what he is best at, convincing everyone that there is hope and being charismatic. That's all well and good, but if nothing gets accomplished than it doesn't really matter. I want to see less of Obama and more of things getting done. This also falls on our idiotic congress(both Dem and Rep) for only wanting the other side to not get what they want because that is how elections are won, by making the other team, and the American public, lose.

Glad I got that out.

jason said...

oh and even the president gets some time off, so either way i dont see him being in the wrong but then again i dont know how much time he devotes to this, i just assumed one of his advisors would tell him good reasons to pick each team and he doesnt actually know everything about them

Tommy Point said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tommy Point said...

"But I picked Murray State because I have picked them in the first round in every tournament since 1999. I was due to get it right once in a while."

There's no such thing as "due".

Don't you read Bill James?