Thursday, February 4, 2010

I Got, Um, Disrespected

Hi Dave, um, it's, um, Johnny Damon again. Spring training starts in two weeks, and, um, I still don't have a team to play for, and I'd like to play for your Tigers. I don't know why because, um, I have a, um, body of a 30-year-old and I made the Yankees a winner. Sure, um, the Yankees didn't win anything, um, in the first three years I was on the team, um, and they didn't even make the playoffs, um, in 2008, but when they won the World Series, um, I'm pretty sure it's because of me. I had, um, a career high in home runs, um, because I'm in the prime of my career. I guess by offering me a 45% pay cut, the Yankees decided they didn't want to win this year. I know you gave Miguel Cabrera a big paycheck, so I know you know that $13 million a year for me is like, um, a bargain. I'm in the prime of my career.

The last four years I had more home runs than in any four years of my career. That's, um, because I'm a rare physical specimen and I have, um, a great work ethic. Other than that year that I was thinking about retiring and, um, sat on my ass all winter and hit .230 in the first half of the year, um, um, I work out a lot. I don't come in as early as, um, Alex, but I still work out really hard. At, um, New Tiger Stadium, I can probably, um, hit 30 home runs a year. And I also work a lot of counts.

Do you read the New York Post? I hope so. My dad is trying to get the phone number of the New York Post, um, so he can say that the, um, Yankees are making the biggest, um, mistake in the history of the franchise. Move over Hideki Irabu and Carl Pavano. Letting Johnny f***ing Damon go will go down in history, um, as the worst move ever made. Look at Boston. After they, um, let me go, they only won the World Series once. Plus, um, I kept the Boston Globe, um, in business by providing all those quotes about how disrespected I was for four years. Between that and, um, Bill Ryan, and Jackie McMillan, and Dan Sean, um, um, the curly haired boyfriend guy, all writing about how great I am, um, I made sure there was always something, um, to write about. I am in the prime of my career and I don't only singlehandedly turn baseball teams into winners, but I keep the entire local economy alive. I can probably save GM, Ford, and Chrysler. So instead of putting up their logos for free again, you can just sign me.

I was the Derek Jeter of the Yankees, even though, um, Derek Jeter plays on the Yankees. I have been a great player all my career, um, and I'm in the prime of my career. I'm the Greg Maddux of position players. I hope, um, the other Derek Jeter is, um, paying attention. Because if I get disrespected with the body of a 30-year-old with a smaller contract offer, then Derek Jeter is also going to, um, get disrespected. I was the face of the franchise and a great fit and everyone loved me, so I hope Derek Jeter is getting ready to go to another team. Hopefully he joins me, um, in Detroit. Signing me doesn't even mean the Tigers will win the World Series next year, but it also means, um, Derek Jeter will come here too because, um, he loves me.

I can turn the Tigers into winners, because upgrading the outfield with me instead of, um, Curtis Anderson, the Tigers are going to be, um, a lot better. Plus, I'll get along with the team really well. I like to go out and chase girls, um, so me and, um, Miguel Cabrera are going to get after it every night. Rick Porcello doesn't like Kevin Youkilis, and, um, I don't like Theo Epstein because he disrespected me by only offering me $40 million, so we're going to, um, be like best friends. I am really a huge clubhouse guy, and though my birth certificate says that I'm 36 years old, my agent says I play like I'm 30. I'm like one of those Dominicans. Therefore, you should listen to my agent instead of my birth certificate and medical records. He's, um, really trustworthy. And by trustworthy, he's the only person nowadays who isn't disrespecting me by thinking I'm worth less than $13 million a year.

I'm the, um, best leadoff hitter of all time. I could make the Pittsburgh Pirates a winner, because my presence is really the only reason Oakland, Boston, and New York were winners when I was there. So anyway, Mr. Drom, Mr., um, um, Tigers Guy, I know I have been calling you every five minutes for the last week, but I hope you call me back. If you don't, I will call the Detroit Free Press and talk about how you are disrespecting me. I'm the best thing that could happen to any franchise in baseball. But the Yankees don't realize that, despite the fact that I was the heart and soul of the team, and the biggest, um, superstar on theat team. The Red Sox didn't realize it either, so I let them know about it by talking, um, more about them than about my current team, for, um, four years.

So anyway, Dave Tigers Guy, I hope you call me back. I know I've been talking about the Yankees and the Red Sox for most of this voicemail, um, but I really want to play for the Pirates, um, oh, I mean, um, the Tigers this year. You know what I'm going to like about the Tigers? Winning the World Series.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

DV

The phrase we're hearing a lot of is that Damon "overplayed his hand." And I think that's true to an extent. Except for one thing--it's not like he had the greatest hand in the world to play. He's old. He has no range in CF anymore and he can't throw, so he can't be a corner outfielder. And outside Yankee Stadium, he can't hit for pop. So basically you've got a gap/slap hitter who is a part time CF and mostly DH. Again, as a non-Yankee, where's his value? He's not hitting rockets out of right field in either Detroit or Oakland, not for a minute. I would be only mildly surprised if Spring Training came around and he was without a team.

--the Gunn

Anonymous said...

Gunn,

Good points here. At the end of the day the stupid thing that Damon did was make the assumption that he could get more elsewhere than playing for the yankees and there was no logical thought process that would lead you to that conclusion.

Bandi

the gm at work said...

It's actually quite a bit similar to Mike Lowell's re-signing with Boston after 2007. He had no value whatsoever on any team except for Boston and maybe Philadelphia.

I'm loving the current situation with Damon. If nothing happens on this front and I still have nothing to write about tomorrow, get your popcorn ready.

PF said...

A lot of good points being made here. As I said yesterday - and echoing what is being said already in this thread directly or indirectly - the main mistake made by damon and boras was thinking they had a market. In 2005, they had a very legitimate market, evidenced by the 40 mil damon's current team was willing to offer him up front. If they are offering that much money, at the very least someone else is going to be in that range, and on the open market other teams are likely to top it. He was a 32 year old still in the prime of his career, and one of the best leadoff hitters in the game.

At no point this winter was it clear there was a market for damon. He's older, the economy is worse, he's no longer a cf, and while his offense is still top flight there is no guarantee as to how long that will continue. These things don't add up to a big market, especially for a multi-year deal. The 2 year 14 million the yankees are reported to have offered seems very fair, and damon should have been thinking fair not big market. It isn't 4 years ago.

With all this very seriously considered, the one thing I would caution is that damon can still play. There is no question that batting second in the yankees' lineup and playing half of his games in a short right field are helpful for him. But its not a situation where it makes him. He hit 7 homers on the road, so let's call him a 15 homerun guy. Those 15 are because he still retains very legitimate power to right and right center, not just yankee stadium power. 15 home runs out of a leadoff/#2 hitter is something most teams are going to sign for. And while he can no longer play center, and definitely can't play right, he can still play left for you. You'll lose a little on his arm but he still can go get it and for a leadoff/#2 guy that can give you .280/.365/15/70-80/100+, you can live with that. And hell do that in any park in baseball. Am I suggesting that this should creat a big market for him? No. What I'm saying is that he's not a guy that is really only going to produce for the yankees, especially at the price he's probably at. He's got pull power, can still get it in the gaps and down the lines and run, can handle the best fastball in the game (bat speed), and can go get it on D (struggled early last year, refound his groove last few months). For the top of the order, that's a pretty good skill set no matter what age.

Anonymous said...

PF

I think your projections for Damon are right on/near the money. The issue is, will those numbers net him more than 14 million dollars over two years? I think we'd both agree that the answer there is no. Especially not if guys like Bobby Abreu and Hideki Matsui, both of whom are better hitters (an in Abreu's case, legitimate corner outfielder) got 5-6 million dollars for one year each of the last two winters.

--the Gunn

PF said...

Gunn -

Exactly. That's the entire issue. At the very least, when you consider the totality of their contributions, all of those players are in the same general class. If abreu is getting 2/19, and matsui is getting 1/6, damon should be under no pretenses that he would be anywhere but somewhere at or between those two ranges. Especially as it got further into the winter and it became apparent that the angels slightly overpaid the market that ultimately developed for this class of players.